Version 12

Not to Wake Up Slowly is an album project of Star Ladle Truncheon (Paul Gaffney: guitar, electronics, voice | Steve Lichtenstein: guitar, keys, voice | Dan Gudgel: percussion, electronics | Additional vocals by Erika Berkson). Newest versions marked with *. All songs by Star Ladle Truncheon.

01. Overture 

The Guy, (Voice 1) is holding down a job cleaning carpets and furniture on the coast. The company specializes in fire restoration. Next door to the office in the strip mall is a construction company that specializes in fire repair construction.  

Frankie, the Woodworker (Voice 3) works for the construction company.  

One night, after a night out at a bar with the carpenters, The Girl (Voice 2) comes back to The Guy's place, with a whole group of people. The two of them fall into a lusty, intense, hot-burning affair. They feed into each others consumption and self-abuse. They have a great time. But what they really needed were people to help them slow down, not speed up. She introduces him to a whole new, much rougher, crowd (Voice 4).  

02. Peaktime Conversations – The Woodworker - Voice 3

Sung from one side of the stage, working on a project (building something, or making an incendiary device), while The Guy and The Girl trash the other side of the stage in a time-lapse encapsulation of their tribulations.

She showed him skin
That was the thin edge of the blade.
Slipped between his ribs,
she declared dibs
and there she stayed.

She might not have called
Much, if at all. But made imputations
So much in the heeds
That played to his needs,
In peak-time conversations.

She let him be wild.
He never got riled about her excess
The nights were a blast,
on thoughts of the past
the mornings a mess.

03. In – The Guy - Voice 1

Him, self-mythologizing.

They taught me as a kid,
protect your head, Make a cage with your arms
then nothing gets in.
A few lucky punches, a kick to the ribs,
but nothing important gets in.

She was hitting on me.
from the tone of her voice.
When she took off her shirt, I was sure.
What's happened since then?
I sold postcards of stars
as things got less and less pure

I didn't let her in,
but I gave her the key, I told her she filled me up.
The way she looked at me
then I wanted her in, I wanted her bad
And I'd trade for this feeling of luck everything that I had

She was hitting on me.
from the tone of her voice.
When she took off her shirt, I was sure.
What's happened since then?
I sold postcards of stars
as things got less and less pure

Get your compass points right. This could be crucial. Everyone everyone everyone everyone is going to want directions to your doorstep.

They taught me as a kid,
protect your head, Make a cage with your arms
then nothing gets in.
A few lucky punches, a kick to the ribs,
but nothing important gets in.

04. In Solution/ Hold My Luck – The Girl - Voice 2

She offers her take on life, and plan for the future.

That's the solution, right thru the skin.
Don't give it a chance to dissolve
Trust me, it's a system that works.
What do you want it to solve?

Shake it up, stir it,
get one off if there's time.
It'll all be illegal sooner or late.
Don't touch your eyes, and you're fine.  

O, there may have been people, there may have been stumps,
you can betcha there was grass.
There might have been pavement, and cars in the city
But not for my kind of cash.
I floated on my back, and maybe I stood up.
There were times I was lost, or would rather be
where I could hold my luck - hold my luck

That's the solution, right thru the skin.
Don't give it a chance to dissolve
Trust me, it's a system that works.
What do you want it to solve?  

I was stuck to my knees. I spread out again,
you better believe that was heaven.
I found my own base, and that was crucial
I kept my face out of the way.
I turned but I didn’t roll.
'til I saw feet through the crack at the bottom of the door.  

That's the solution, right thru the skin.
Don't give it a chance to dissolve
Trust me, it's a system that works.
What do you want it to solve?

You can't choose if it happens to you
but you can choose who you want to involve.

05. Build It Up, Burn It Hotter – Frankie, the Woodworker - Voice 3  

The Woodworker, to the Guy, as they watch an arson project smoulder.

It was always the flames
that I came to see.
But since my little misstep
I don’t put them out,
they burn in me.

You know, up North
I used to be trusted.
But I doubled, doubled down,
drew a jack,
then I busted.

The cops didn’t care
if my problem made me ruthless.
The cops were all thugs
and our problems,
how they used us.

I knew the accelerants,
I knew all the techniques.
I owed big
so they could trust me,
there wouldn’t be any leaks.

So me, a fireman,
splashed gas, not water.
I burned it for them once.
But when they rebuilt,
I burned it hotter.

They didn’t want me to burn it,
not the second time.
The first I did for them,
but now the pleasure’s mine.

They controlled me long enough,
all through those Northern seasons.
Back then I burned for pay,
by now I've got new reasons.

I always saw beauty
in the flames before I wet them.
I wanted things to burn:
but before I couldn't let them.

So me, a fireman,
splashed gas, not water.
I burned it for them once.
They rebuilt,
I burned it hotter.

Interlude 2. – Some Other Female Voice - Voice 5

Spoken, female voice:

She is so proud. Like her heart's in the top of her head, and she's pulled up by it. She's very commanding, in proportion. She knows why she's here. And it's not to wake up slowly in the morning.

06. The Drive Home – The Girl - Voice 2

Her reminiscing about that first night 

The gates were down on the storefonts
As I drove you home that night
And everything was quiet
And everything seemed alright

I told you everything that I could
And nothing was a lie
And I hope you can keep it all to yourself
And hold it deep inside

O, The gates were down on the storefronts
and we were both close to sleep
and all those promises I made to you
I hoped I'd be able to keep
I hope I'll be able to keep

07. You're Not Above Question – The Thug – Voice 4  

The Girl owes the Thugs, big. They put pressure on The Guy, to help them collect.  

I stood in the garden
'til my feet were sore
A late night out,
He came home, I blocked the door.

His lips went all blue,
like his veins were all frost.
I was simple and direct,
to get my point across.

"Your girl owes big.
Her debts are an infection.
We don't blame you for it all
but you're not above question.

You just keep her in check
we collect the ransom.
You know that they'll pay for her
and you know they'll pay handsome.

Yeah, you know she'll be mad,
but you just calm her down.
Keep her incommunicado
somewhere outside of town.

You can't say no,
'cos we know you have no cash.
Get it right, we call this done,
get it wrong, you pay the lash.

You just get her out of sight
and call me in the morning.
You've only got one shot at this,
we won't give you any warnings.

Doubt it? Ask your friend
with the ashes on his shoulders:
since he crossed us in Marquette,
we've been his title holder."

I stood in the garden
'til my feet were sore
A late night out,
He came home, I blocked the door. 

08. Lager & Bitters (Stomping chant) – Frankie, the Woodworker and The Guy - Voices 1, 3 and others

The Woodworker and the Guy go get a couple drinks. They get drunk enough to sing. The whole bar joins in. A beat like boots in a stairwell. Transitioning into a call-and response, a chant fire brigade cadets yell when they're training. Layers of vocal samples pile up on each other. A chaotic round.

When you've got a lot in hand
make sure you're holding what matters.
Even if your pants are in tatters,
hold the ladder.
Hold the ladder.

09. Legitimate Favourite – The Guy - Voice 1

The Woodworker's name is Frankie. The Guy needs advice. He finally works up the courage to ask, on the stumbling walk home from the bar.  

Man, this is worse
Than my usual trouble.
Help cut this knot
And I'll buy you a double.

You've been on both sides,
Lighting and dousing the flames.
You survived all of that.
Please tell me this is the same.

Oh, no no, she's not pregnant,
If that's what you're thinking.
I said I'd help out some guys —
I said it while I was drinking.

I'm scared, I can't fake.
These guys mean hard business.
A legitimate favourite I'd do.
That's no felony. Frankie, is this?

10. Draw the praise away from yourself. – Frankie, The Woodworker - Voice 3

The Woodworker's advice.

Unbuckle and call it done.
Refinish the wood and you'll sleep better.
It's the friction that keeps you awake.
Smooth off the edges, the corners burn first
Double-brace it or it'll shake.

Stand yourself here now, and stand it steady
If not for that you'd be a man, and a hero, already.

Let the gasping come,
and the rushing and the plodding resignation.
Come in and sit at the table.
Let all the flaws come, tragic or not,
and sit if they're able.

Stand yourself here now, and stand it steady
If not for that you'd be a man, and a hero, already.

You're gonna have to cut back
even on the things that you're missing.
But you could do worse, as far as mistakes.
Make your promises, and do that first,
before you start to feel the aches.

Stand yourself here now, and stand it steady
If not for that you'd be a man, and a hero, already.
Start it right here, now, if you think you're ready
If you do that, better hold fast, and you'd better hold steady.

Background Spoken Sample, underlying previous:

What's it like, all these errors creeping into our code? It's like you've ordered a magazine subscription. The first few issues are wonderful. But month after month you notice it getting sloppier and sloppier. By the end of the year there are typos all over the place, pages stuck together and the article continuations are never in the right place. A few of the pages'll still show through, readable. But you'll be so fed up you'll just want to cancel the subscription anyway.

11. Interlude 5 – The Guy and The Girl -Voices 1, and 2

At their first meeting. He gets hysterical, in a slurring torrent. She sounds like a consumptive, coughing.

Him: "Oh man, I've been having this feeling lately."
Her: "Yeah?"
Him: "Yeah. God, like I'm already sunk, you know? Like I've got so many lines in the water, that even if I tried to reel them all in now, something's going to bite onto one of them, you know? And then it is gonna run, and man, once it starts going out, it's going to pull me in after it. I mean, even if I tried now. You know? Now I couldn't, I couldn't get them all in. All safe."
Her: "Hey, you need a hand getting home?"  

12. Nothing Left – The Guy - Voice 1

Him pontificating on their meeting. Why was the effort worth it back then? 

I had to be me
you had to be you
there was nothing left
for us to do

You saw my fear
You saw my heart
Both of them were yours
Right from the start

And late that night
When we didn't sleep
You told me secrets
That I, I couldn't keep

You dropped me off
You drove away
That whole ride home
nothing left to say
you couldn't stay

I had to be me
you had to be you
there was nothing left
for either of us to do

13. We Weren't Defensible – The Guy – Voice 1  

The Guy has resigned himself to taking The Girl hostage, for her own good. For safe keeping. Because she's going to get herself hurt otherwise. But this is the first time he's tried to do something like this.

Oh, baby doll, can we just get out of town?
We've been staring at these walls so long
it's getting me down.

I remember a time, it seems a long way back
though, sure we weren't defensible,
we weren't on the attack.

The fabric falls apart right in front of our eyes
if we can't get things straight
at least we know we tried.

Get in the car with me.
Jesus, are you high?
I don't know what you're running from,
but won't you tell me why?
Why I have to be careful
when I'm downtown
Why you took eighty ounces
when you bought half a pound.
Why these guys've stopped me
everywhere I've been
Why should I try to help you
when it's you who got you in?

I gave you your chance to go with the plan,
I can't do any more for you,
I hope you understand.

Oh, baby doll, can we just get out of town?
We've been getting so low for so long
but we can still get down.

I remember a time, it seems a long way back
when, sure we weren't defensible,
but we weren't under attack.

The fabric falls apart right in front of our eyes
we might not get things straight
but we will know we tried.

I gave you your chance to go with the plan,
I can't do any more for you,
I hope you understand.

14. Private Backing –The Girl and the Thug – Voices 2 and 4, telephone duet.

The Girl realizes something’s up. The Guy is just not that good at trying to kidnap her without her knowing. She locks herself in the bedroom, and places a last-ditch call. Spoken in rhyme, not sung. The Thug's voice distorted and tinny, over the phone.

Hello? You know who this is
and you know what I owe you.
I know you turned This Guy against me
But there’s something I can show you.

You’ve got my attention
but just for one minute.
You’d better talk fast,
you're ten seconds in it.

I can get you your money
but my family won’t pay.
I’ve dried up their good graces:
they’d be the first to say.

In time I can pay you back,
with interest and all that’s implied
But for my part I’ve got connections
that I know will get you satisfied.

These schemes that you’re running?
You’ve gotta dream bigger.
You’ll get more with inside information
than your finger on the trigger.

You’ve talked yourself into
one chance to make good.
Tell your boy he can relax.
Anyway, he was a terrible ‘hood.

No, I want you to take him
like you were going to take me.
I won’t be crossed lightly,
that’s what you’ll make him see.

15. Leave All the Rest – The Girl – Voice 2

Having cut her deal with The Thug, she emerges from the bedroom, packed and ready to go. To grease the rails, she grins wide and lies up a storm.

I'm staying with you
after all we've been through
I know you're doing your best.

I won't leave you alone.
Me? No, not on the phone.
Just give me time to get dressed.

It got heavy real fast,
but we'll bury the past.
and I'll love you 'til you're impressed.

Go on, call us a car.
No, just stay where you are.
Grab the cash, and leave all the rest.
Grab the cash, and leave all the rest.

16. Pt. 1: In The Back of the Car – The Guy - Voice 1

The Guy is relieved that The Girl has finally got her act together enough to get out before things get worse. The car arrives. They are driven away. The Girl passes out in the backseat. The car stops. The Thug gets in, with accomplice. The Guy is nervous as hell. And starting to think his Girl slipped him something paranoia-inducing.

I'm uninterruptible and I'm universally liked,
My motives: corruptible, and my drink has been spiked.
I just left the coast yesterday morning,
I can't believe how fast they can strike.
At me, in the back of the car.

I'm not widely known, at least not in this situation.
I've been available to history but I'm not yet in syndication.
I swear people will notice I'm missing,
I don't like your implications.
Towards me, in the back, of the car.

The gates are down on the storefronts
and you're asleep on my arm.
We don't know where they are taking us
but you can bet they mean harm.
Well, I'll try to talk some sense to them
but you might wake up in alarm.
The gates are down on the storefronts
and you are asleep on my arm.

Well it’s all our fault we’re in so deep
And that's the one secret I hoped to keep
I made the deals but we’ll both pay
I can’t believe you’re still asleep
Here in the back of the car.

What did you do to the real valet?
How did you know where we stayed?
How can you go through with this?
What cut do you get paid?
Well, if you let me out of this,
I give my word I won't resist.
That's me, in the back of the car.

The gates are down on the storefronts
you're not asleep, so don't pretend.
I don't know how they roped you into this
but you can bet this is the end.
Well, I'll try to talk some sense to them
but you, I just can't defend.
The gates are down on the storefronts
you're not asleep, so please, don't pretend.  

17. Pt. 2: The Thugs' Reply - The Other Male Voice - Voice 4

"Yes, of course there are times when we need it to stop.
But then you just have to cut the wires.
On everyone who aspires to rise to your level.
Keep the competition down.
Or at least not competitive."

How are we supposed to live like this,
In these petty amounts?
If we're going to run this scene ourselves,
There's no way to keep clean ourselves.
So we never do get seen, ourselves
except by people who count.
Well it's not such a big leap from here to the road
unless you feel like jumping.
If you don't like it, drag in your own.
Then we'll see if you're bluffing.

No one will ever suspect from behind the scenes
how it is that we know.
Understand our situation:
we own the whole location,
but now we've built our reputation.
We've got to cash in while it glows.
You can roll over or you can fight
one's right, the other is chilling.
You want to keep us happy whatever you do,
and I sense that you are willing.

The gates are closed on the storefronts,
If you play this right you might live.
We already know you're not above begging,
We don't want anything you could give.
You'll forget us, pal, this is just our job.
but her, you'll never forgive.
The gates are closed on the storefronts,
If you play this right you just might,
you might live.  

18. So This Was Your Plan - The Guy – Voice 1  

The car stops. The Girl sits up, exchanges words with The Thug, and gets out.  

How can you just let her go?
Her family's worth a million.
I can only get you fifteen thou,
twenty if my brother's willing.
I already lost my shirt,
now I'll lose my fillings.
How can she just sail out of this?
You guys must make a killing.

The Guy is beaten. Artfully. The Woodworker arrives and intercedes on his behalf.  

[Lyrics to be written.]

19. I Would Have Loved – The Girl - Voice 2

Walking away from this mess, planning to cut and run from The Thug and everything else, she is self-mythologizing to feel better.

I waited in your shower
for more than seven hours
Things were really turning sour
I was gonna have to run.

They took away my keys
And then they took and took from me
So now I'm taking too, you see
I've always been a little numb

I would have loved to have been there
But I was spending your cash
I would have loved to have been there tonight
I would have loved to have been there
but I was stealing your stash
It'll be hard but you'll be alright.

I would have loved to have been there
with you talking trash
I would have loved to have been there tonight
I would have loved to have been there,
and not preventing the crash.
You'll get by but it'll be tight.

It wasn't cruelty
that parted you and me
You want to be empty
I guess that's good enough for some.

I'm glad you made it through
I did what I had to do.
You'd have done it to me too
but we all know you're kinda dumb.

I would have loved to have been there
when you made an ass
I would have loved to have been there tonight
I would have loved to have been there
for your lack of class
I knew , oh I knew, that you'd never fight.

Some of us stood in the grass, ready to cheer or run when the others showed up, depending. On it's first run, the train was so cautious that it pulled into the station led by a brakeman walking down the middle of the track with a flag in his hand. The station filled instantly when it came to a stop. Then we were all spectators.

I would have loved to have been there
But I was spending your cash
I would have loved to have been there tonight
I would have loved to have been there
but I was stealing your stash
It'll be hard but you'll be alright.

20. Maybe That Looked Like Falling – The Guy - Voice 1  

Frankie and I are getting out of here,
you should too, but don't take a plane.
They might be wrong, I might forgive,
despite what you flushed down the drain.
My ears are bleeding,
you don't know what you took
while I was out in the rain.

I put down my arms with you
but trouble was all you were giving.
You owe me a lot, but we'll call it through.
If love's gone, at least we're still living.

I thought I could fix us, working alone,
and I tried, 'til it drove me insane.
I loved you true, for all of those weeks,
I won't trust you, but I won't wish you pain.
I would have loved to have been there
when you sold me out.
Was that you? Then you're not the same.

I put down my arms with you
but trouble was all you were giving.
You owe me a lot, but we'll call it through.
If love's gone, at least we're still living.

I stood up as strong as I could
and maybe that looked like falling.
I thought you were admiring my face,
turns out that you were just stalling.
I gave to it the best that I could.
Now I see you,
but I can't hear you calling.

I put down my arms with you
but trouble was all you were giving.
I owe you a lot, please, can we call it through?
If love's gone, at least we're still living.

Text Courtesy of vinylpuma.com